Just Sayin

Ahhhh!

So at this point, I'm trying my hardest not to rip my hair out.

All I feel like doing is bitching.  

Or possibly curling up in the fetal position, screaming adele songs at my cat, and eating my feelings.

But gaining 25 pounds and possibly getting my eyes scratched out doesn't sound like fun.

I'll stick with bitching.

Everyone has that one "friend" that just makes you think, "the fuck are you saying?" Like, WHY? But there is no explanation.  It's just a bunch of bullshit.  I hate bullshit.  

It's kinda like when someone lies over stupid shit.  Like, if you made plans with someone and they decided to do something else..  why not just say that?  Do you really think I care that much?  They could just be like, "Sorry bro, I think I'm just gonna hang out with so and so tonight."  But instead it's, "Uhh, I gotta take my grandma to the vet and pick up my sister from the zoo." 

OH.  Is that what you're going to do?  Take your fucking grandma to the vet?

I mean, no one's actually said that before..  But shit's possible.

I'd rather hear an ugly truth than a well dressed lie any day.  I mean, can you really get mad at someone for telling the truth?  No.  And if you do, you're a sensitive bitch that needs to work on your emotional problems anyways.  Lying just adds on to the problem. And it's SO much easier to remember the truth.  A lie can get you in some awkward, fucked up situations. And you didn't want to piss your friend off before?  Dude.  Shit just hit the ceiling.

And while I'm raging about the world..

You know what would be fanfuckingtastic?  Some good ole motivation and encouragement.

Everytime something pops out of my mouth, these fucking pessimistics come out of no where. 

FUCK OFF.

No one wants to hear your negative comments.  You're totally killing my mood. 

No one likes a party pooper.  Or you.

Yeah, take it.  It's not like you had anything better to say.  Just because you're unhappy you don't have to bring down the rest of the world.  Shit man, I'm just trying to kick it.  And you?  You're just being a bitch. 

I just don't understand.  Sometimes I get pissy, but I haven't had drama since I was a freshman.  How is screaming at people, making statuses about people, and telling people they're an ugly monkey looking mother fucker make anyone feel better?  Like, ouch.  You know you'd be crying your eyes out if you heard that.  Why do people have to cut everyone down so much? How is anyone satisfied with being that unhappy and completely destroying someone's self-esteem?  I mean yeah, you're not going to like everyone and everyone isn't going to like you.  Get over it.  You're never going to make it anywhere if that's how you deal with your problems.  Explain to me how it fixes anything?  What are you trying to accomplish?  You have better come backs? That MUST mean you're a badass mother fucker.  Yeah, no.  Now everyone just thinks you're a miserable bitch with no friends.  

You think if someone doesn't like someone else, they would just not talk to them..  Wouldn't you rather block people like that out of your life rather than cause a scene on the internet and let everyone know how fucking immature and ridiculous you are?  Because while you're trying to make the other person look dumb, you're just making yourself look more dumb. 

I wish everyone would just shut up.

Or even some kind of remote control with a mute button.

Or an eraser that can erases mouths.

Bahahaha.

...kidding. 

Okay, personally, I feel better now..

See how great telling the truth is? 

Happy Thoughts

So, I had a pretty shitty day lol. Don't get me wrong, it started off great. I went canoeing and shit with some really great friends. It was awesome until I was randomly accused of being mad at someone? Like I swear, people are great at coming up with assumptions in their heads and turning it into reality. But why would anyone wanna do that? Why would you WANT to come up with a reason to ruin the day? I'll never understand what God was thinking when he made people.

Anyways, some other unfortunate events followed afterwards. I even lost my keys, you can drive by the highschool now and see the G6 kickin it in the parking lot. But I mean what can ya do?

Tristin and I later went to my house, we decided to jump on my trampoline. Crazy, right? When's the last time you jumped on your trampoline? Mine's been rotting away for years now. While we were attempting to do all the tricks we had taught ourselves in middle school, all I could think about was how fucking fantastic my life was when all I wanted was a trampoline. Not a car, some fancy apple product, or $500 pair of jeans. Nope. Just something that I could jump around on. And when I got that trampoline, I was the happiest girl alive!

It's just amazing to me how hard it is to have a decent day. Ya know? It's like something always has to pop up and slap you in the face. Everything's gotten so complicated. The boy / girl you like doesn't want anything to do with you, you have zero gas and no money, your boss is a fucking psychotic bitch, your friends arent very good friends, or your parents are three nerves away from making you rip your hair out.

Like, GTFO.

But while all this shit is happening, we rarely notice all the good things we're surrounded by.

So even though my day went to shit, it was completely turned around by one phone call from Delaney, "Hey, wanna go to Florida tonight?" Umm, duh.

Sometimes I find myself asking God, why? Why me? What did I do wrong? But never, hey, thanks for these people. Thanks for giving me another day. Thanks for showing me the beauty in life. Ya know? I've been hiking, caving, walking through creeks, and canoeing within four days. And now I'm on my way to Florida?

Like daayuuummmm.
Jesus got my back.

My point is, even in the bad times take a minute and look around. Don't let one negative idea take over every positive influence. Even when you're feeling alone, I guarantee you're surrounded by support. And you'll be amazed by who will grab your hand when you reach out for help. For all the times you're feeling down, lift your head up and look towards God. He'll never put you in front of an obstacle that you can't overcome. Everything happens for a reason, He has a plan.

I hope you're all smiling.
I know I am.

FLORIDA BOUND BITCHES.

Doneski

Ya know it really sucks living in a small town, especially this one. It's like the littlest things make the biggest difference.  I stopped smoking weed.  It's an amazing feeling and I can't imagine a reason I'd start doing it again.. but damn, in such a short amount of time, I've learned so much about myself and the people I've surrounded myself with.


Since I've stopped, one of my friends have completely stopped calling me.  Like, now I have nothing to offer?  And another has completely ditched me to smoke weed.  People who smoke weed are constantly chanting, "I don't give a fuck."  You know why you don't give a fuck? Because THC releases dopamine indirectly as you're undertaking a behavior that's "pleasurable", which thereby activates the reward pathway in your nucleus accumbens.  Yeah, so maybe you're happy temporarily, but when you're not smoking your emotions are completely irrational.  You get easily agitated, aggravated, and upset. If you want to smoke, fine.  I really don't care.  But try to get your priorities straight.  That "pleasurable" feeling may suffice for 20 - 30 minutes.  But what about after that?  What about after all your weeds gone?  Yeah.  Get mad at me for making a valid point about the cons of smoking weed.  You're just being irrational.


And being this age, if you have a boyfriend, don't plan on having friends too.  Like, yeah..  maybe I'm not going to hug and kiss you and tell you how fucking beautiful you are..  But do you really need that constantly?  Like, shit. Get some self-confidence and hop off your boyfriends dick for a minute. 


BOYFRIENDS DONT LAST FOREVER.
If yours does, good for you.  but lets be realistic.
I won't believe you until I see a ring on that finger.
Yeah, Beyonce knows whats up.


Don't get me wrong, I've done it too.  Smoked too much weed, got lost in my relationship.  But you know what happened?  Heart broken and just pissed the fuck off.  Yeah.  It's really not worth it.  Relationships are if you know how to balance it out without pissing the world off.  Weed?  Not so much.  If you're not happy sober, what makes you think tricking your body into thinking you are is gonna make any fucking difference?  


It would be greatly appreciated to just meet some people who appreciate everything.  Not just the sac of weed you wasted $20 and a quarter of a tank of gas on.  Or just your boyfriend that will more than likely break your heart in a few months.  But instead appreciate the people who were there when the weed was all smoked or who actually made you feel better when your boyfriend started making you feel like shit.  Yeah.  Or maybe even appreciate the other things that make you happy.  Family, friends, God's works, your pet fish, or even that one channel on TV that never seems to let you down.  Maybe these things don't have as big of an effect on you, but I guarantee the happiness you get from these things last a lot longer than your boytoy and that skimpy ass blunt.


Sorry to be so negative.
Sorry if I offended anyone.
But sometimes shit needs to be said.
And sometimes I need to rage.


If youre happy, so be it.  Good for you.  Keep doin the damn thing.
But I bet you can find so much more if you would just stop and look around.


And for the record, I love my friends. 
And I apologize if this made you think differently.

Oh, shit. I can blog too.

Ummm..  The first blog is always so awkward. I feel like I need to break the ice.

I don't want to tell you about what I'm doing over Spring Break because even if you did read it, you probably wouldn't care.  I don't even care.  Quite frankly, I don't plan on doing shit over break.  So yeah, we just won't talk about that.

ANYWAYS.

I'm Mikayla.  I'll be able to go to bars and register to vote in about a month.  Crazy shit.  High school's almost over.  After high school, I'll be attending the University of Chattanooga.  I'm all ready in love with the school and the people there. Yay for me.  I cuss like a sailor, think like a boss, and act like a lady.  I'm a lover and a sinner.  What can I say?  I believe in God, not religion.  I've come to the realization I use to take a lot of things for granted.  And now, I try to appreciate mostly everything.  I wish I could hike everyday. And I'm a huge Bonnaroo enthusiast. 

YAAAAAAY IM SO EXCITING.

But seriously, I hate this town. And occasionally the people.  But mostly the town. 

Now that I've done the whole high school thing..  like, shit.  I'm so skeet on Tullahoma.

It's just a bunch of raging teenagers with huge egos and even bigger mouths. 

Honestly, it's terrifying.  These people will say anything and eat you alive.

Lots of crying, occasionally some blood, way too much homework.

You're judged, betrayed, pushed to your limit.  It's a lot like survivor..  

Except they win money.

We just get some kind of reputation that we don't even get a say in.  

Your peers choose that fate for you.  

But after that, somehow, you get a fresh start.  A new school, new classes, new people.

And I'm so ready to start something new. Ya feel meeee?

Lol, I sound sensitive.  Damn it.

I ramble a lot.

But now I'm done.